so why do we feel the need to be with a group?
So this is a thought I have been dealing with lately on my long runs! I love running alone, especially on those runs that coach Alex makes not so easy! I feel that I have to runs the RX paces to what he gave to me and I want to make them without failure, and I don't want to feel that I am either holding others up or running a pace that others can't (or shouldn't) do, so I run them solo. But long runs are just that LONG.....
I had a little melt down on my long run today, at mile 8 (of 18) I realized I was alone, completely alone, and I stopped and cried, The only time I cry on a run is at the finish line not mid run! So i had to talk myself back into the run. I was close to calling my husband (yep carried my phone today not a normal thing) to come pick me up. But then I talked my self up to keep running I thought...When I go to Chicago in a 6 weeks, yes I will be with 45,000 of my closest friends, but I will be alone. I will be alone with my goals, my own run, my RACE!
I realized (after my meltdown) that I have to train for myself and my goals. and I thought about it later in the afternoon (post run) I am running the paces that will give me that goal I WANT!! After my long runs, I am not sore (ok a little) , I am not injured, I am running these runs for me (with or with out people)! Part of my break down today, I thought back to my time when I was living in Alabama. And I think about my "family" that that I have there and miss them! I know I have a "family" here, but there a days its just not the same. I miss Randy who never leaves anyone behind, or Michael who will meet anyone any time of day, & Tanya my northern friend I didn't get enough time to have fun with, and so many more!!
So even though I may be in the back of the pack today come race day I will know I did everything I needed to do! And I will leave nothing out on there on those Chicago streets!
|I will always run happy, when I am not happy I quit & today is not that day!|